A Brief History of Grifonton, Page 4

PAGE 4, PANEL 1

William and Thomas approach a cave entrance in a mountainous area. Various humorous warning signs are posted: "HUMANS THE OTHER WHITE MEAT" with a skull, "TURN BACK GRRLZ RULE", "GOT ARMOR?", and "VIRGINAL SACRIFICE DROP OFF".

THOMAS: "Looks like this is the place."

PAGE 4, PANEL 2

The brothers stand at the cave entrance, holding offerings - Thomas with a pie and William with what appears to be pork chops.

THOMAS: "O' Great Gryphon of the Forest! We come bearing gifts of cherry pie and pork chops!"

WILLIAM: "We've come to request your assistance in our city's hour of need!"

PAGE 4, PANEL 3

The Gryphon emerges - a large creature with a bird's head and feathered wings, looking annoyed. William looks startled.

WILLIAM: "Please, hear our request, sir--"

GRYPHON: "SIR?! I am a girl, you blind sons of whores!"

PAGE 4, PANEL 4

A dark silhouette with glowing eyes is shown on the left. On the right, the Gryphon looks surprised. A small shocked creature (possibly a baby gryphon) is visible.

GRYPHON: "Visitors?"

GRYPHON: "After all these years, I have visitors?"

Everything that follows is original 2005 commentary except where noted “–RN 2012″:

That has to be the best introductory phrase ever.

To come up with an idea for a story quickly, I started a conversation with myself in a bad Russian/Scottish accent. When imagining the Gryphon’s voice, apply that accent worthy of Michael Myers. Oh, and the pie and pork chops… I’ve always said that when I die, I hope to be immortalized as a dragon so I could demand offerings of virgins, cherry pie, and pork chops. You have to admit, being a dragon has perks.

‘Twould seem that way, but dragons are very susceptible to lung cancer. It’s from all that fire breathing.

Hey, it’s our special Guest Commentator! Welcome to the Super Happy Deluxe Collector’s Edition of A Brief History of Grifonton, Gryphon!

grunt

Suggested Listening: “I Need You” by Dave Gahan

Comments (Archived)

  1. Ale

    Im loving your listening suggestions, Dave Gahan Is great!