No Time for Boys, Page 3

PANEL 1

Rachel walks alone outside at night under a streetlight. A couple can be seen in the distance.

RACHEL (thinking): "Is there something wrong with me?"

RACHEL (thinking): "Why does Sparrow always have a boyfriend?"

PANEL 2

Close-up of Rachel's face looking contemplative, her hair blowing in the wind.

RACHEL (thinking): "No, I'm lonely, but I'm happy."

RACHEL (thinking): "And I really don't have time to date."

RACHEL (thinking): "I have a life, a purpose, a goal."

PANEL 3

Rachel walks through a town at night, passing by storefronts. A movie theater marquee shows "AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH."

RACHEL (thinking): "I don't need a guy to succeed, to be happy."

RACHEL (thinking): "I don't need a guy to belong."

RACHEL (thinking): "I don't even need a guy to go see that movie!"

“Is there something wrong with me?” is a question I still ask myself, although now it’s over the making and keeping of friends and jobs instead of boyfriends.

I never needed a boyfriend or a male. I take that back, there was a rough point when I was on my own where I did rely too heavily on the kindness of a boyfriend. I wasn’t really able to manage on my own from a financial or transportational perspective, and he wanted to be my knight in shining armor. I was deeply suspicious of this, naturally, because the original fairytales never had happy endings. And I was right to be. He didn’t know how to stop being the “person who rescued and guided me.” This didn’t work with my very independent personality. I did not like feeling like I was being controlled. I did everything I could to set myself up to be independent when the relationship (inevitably) would end. But I never thought, “Oh no, what will I do without a boyfriend? Who will rub my head and tell me everything is going to be okay?” I thought, “How will I take care of my own motorcycle? I will need to read up on maintenance and repair. To the library!”

I am married now, and while I love my husband very much, I am not scared of being without him. One day we will part ways and I will be without him (unless we die simultaneously). I know will be strong and cherish the things I have learned and gained from my time with him.

You have to be an individual before you can be a part of a greater whole.