Paps Fear, Page 6

PANEL 1

The Doctor looks at something with concern while Rachel lies on the table.

DOCTOR: "Oh, oh my."

RACHEL: (thinking) "This can't be good."

PANEL 2

Rachel panics while the Doctor remains calm.

RACHEL: "What? What is it? A tumor? An STD?!"

DOCTOR: "Worse."

PANEL 3

The Doctor makes a joke, causing Rachel to be mortified while the Nurse laughs.

DOCTOR: "I got your clitoris!"

SFX: HA HA HA!

PANEL 4

Final panel showing Rachel walking away funny while the text provides a reassuring message.

RACHEL: (thinking) "Thank god I only have to do this once a year!"

Rachel is shown walking funny with an arrow pointing to her.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD!

Okay, so I exaggerated a little in hopes of making you laugh. Laughter is good for you. It helps you relax in the face of scary tasks like getting your first pap smear. Although your first one might be a little intimidating, it will never be like this! And you will find that, as with most things, the second and third times are easier and easier. For your health, it is worth it!

Signed: Rachel Nabors

My nurse practitioner never did this to me, but I would have laughed if she had.

I planned on bringing this doctor back. Whenever Rachel went to see her, be it about birth control, yeast, anything sexual at all, the doctor would shout to the nurse, “SPECULUM!” I always felt like bringing up anything sexually related with my physician meant it was speculum time.

The joke is that this doctor loves speculums and has absolutely no shame about sex or naughty bits. It might as well be your nose. And she thinks noses are awesome.

Moral of the story: get your damn pap smear, ladies. Even if it is uncomfortable, it’s at least funny

Comments (Archived)

  1. Reese76

    In the Marines , the Navy Doctor that inspects you for STDs usually used a blood test. except for the first time, then they used a “small” lubed (year right) very long one ended Qtip to go down your urethra. for the life of me i dont remember exactly what STD that test was for but it was not fun. The venereal infection movie almost made me become a monk. I never contracted anything , thankfully . After the furor about having 8 year old girls in Texas forced to take the Gardsil shot, I went and got one, cause i did NOT want to become an HPV carrier. I mean its not like you can get HPV from the toilet seat. Honestly where do girls get HPV from if not from the idoits with a penis ?