TITLE PANEL
Title card with decorative text and a man in a suit.
Title: Things that rub me the wrong way: COMPUTER ELITISTS
COMPUTER ELITIST: "My hard drive is bigger than yours!"
By Rachel Nabors, subcultureofone.com
PANEL 1
Rachel sits contentedly at her laptop, typing away with a happy expression.
NARRATOR: It has happened before. You have a nice computer that you are perfectly content with...
RACHEL: "I love my laptop!"
SFX: takkity tak tak!
PANEL 2
A dark figure looms ominously.
NARRATOR: ...then they have to butt in.
PANEL 3: THE OVERKILL EXECUTIVE
A woman with curly hair in business attire smugly addresses Rachel.
THE OVERKILL EXECUTIVE: "Ha! My laptop has four times as much RAM as yours!"
RACHEL: "Wow, you must use your laptop for heavy-duty graphics applications."
PANEL 4
The Overkill Executive looks sheepish while Rachel stares flatly.
THE OVERKILL EXECUTIVE: "No, mostly I check my email on it."
RACHEL: "Figures."
PANEL 5: THE MEDIA JUNKY
A different woman enthusiastically gestures at her laptop.
THE MEDIA JUNKY: "It plays CDs and DVDs for me!"
THE MEDIA JUNKY: "But can it burn dual layer DVDs? Can it synch with your cell, iPod, PDA and OBGYN? Does it come with a remote??"
PANEL 6
Rachel looks exasperated while the Media Junky lectures her.
RACHEL: "But I never need that stuff--"
THE MEDIA JUNKY: "It doesn't matter if you need it! What matters is that you have the capability!"
Oh my gosh I do tech support so I know exactly what kind of people you’re talking about! They’re the ones that don’t believe you when you explain to them that sometimes all you need to do is power cycle the modem to get their services working! They try to make it way more complicated than it really is. they drive me crazy! lol