Things That Rub Me the Wrong Way: ‘Hooking Up’, Page 1

HEADER

Rachel the Great's Things That Rub Me the Wrong Way:

"Hooking Up"

With the Fur! With!

By Rachel Nabors

Tuna lounges next to the title.

PANEL 1

Rachel looks annoyed, wearing a "slow to warm up" shirt.

RACHEL: "I hate the expression 'hooking up.'"

PANEL 2

Flashback: Young Rachel talks to Brenda.

When I was a kid, "hooking up" meant "hanging out."

YOUNG RACHEL: "I hooked up with Justin at the mall!"

BRENDA: "Oh cool. What did you guys do?"

Young Rachel is labeled "HAPPY" with a heart.

PANEL 3

Present day: Two girls gossip while a third looks shocked.

Now it means something completely different.

GIRL 1: "I hooked up with Justin at the mall!"

GIRL 2: "You did what?!"

GIRL 3: "How far did you go?"

GIRL 3: "In public?"

PANEL 4

An MTV-style TV presenter speaks.

I think the new meaning was made up by MTV's jargon jockeys.

PRESENTER: "If we call it 'hooking up,' it will sound all casual and unthreatening to our audience!"

PANEL 5

A teen magazine editor explains to a colleague.

Or maybe the teen mags coined it.

EDITOR: "We can't use words like 'oral sex' or 'one night stand' anymore."

EDITOR: "We're getting too many complaints from parents."