Unhappy Valentine’s Day, Page 3

PANEL 1

Large text at top: "You never get anything!"

Sparrow lists items floating around Rachel's annoyed face:

SPARROW: "Not a card! Not a box of candy! Not a note! Not a letter! Not a kiss! Not a telephone call! Not an e-mail!"

RACHEL: "Yeah, thanks for reminding me."

Rachel wears her "You break it, you buy it" t-shirt.

PANEL 2

A man approaches Sparrow.

RACHEL: "Sparrow!"

PANEL 3

The man, Bob, presents something to Sparrow.

BOB: "I bought you this diamond encrusted thong for Valentine's Day!"

PANEL 4

RACHEL: "Bob?"

BOB: "What now?"

Sparrow giggles excitedly.

SPARROW: "Oh, Bob! giggle They're real, aren't they?"

BOB: "Uh, sure, whatever."

PANEL 5

Rachel stands up to leave, looking disgusted.

RACHEL: "I can't take anymore of this. I'm going home."

PANEL 6

Rachel drives home in her car, looking pensive.

RACHEL: "I hate Valentine's Day, but it's not just because I never get a valentine."

I love that doofy image of Bob bursting through the door. Notice how at first both Rachel and Sparrow are exasperated by his interruption, but Sparrow quickly recovers at the sight of a diamond encrusted thong I think the “diamond encrusted thong” was emblematic of how I viewed Valentine’s Day: a thinly veiled commercial holiday celebrating an exchange of sex for goods. Of course I know it’s not like that for everyone. But, as a bitter teenager watching other teenagers go at it, it sure looked that way to me. (I was 19 when I made this.)