PANEL 1
Title panel with stylized ornate text.
Title reads: "You Might Be a Subculture of One If..."
Byline: by Rachel Nabors of SubcultureofOne.com
Tuna, a black cat with big eyes, appears alongside the title.
TEXT: Starring Rachel the Great
PANEL 2
Rachel walks through a crowd wearing a bluetooth headset, talking to herself while people around her look confused. She's wearing a shirt that says "Rich people piss me off."
NARRATOR: ...you wear a headset so others will think you're talking on your cellphone when you're really talking yourself.
RACHEL: "Yes..."
RACHEL: "It is only a matter of time before they all learn to fear my name."
PANEL 3
Rachel sits at a table with a man who has messy dark hair, smiling at him with calculated interest.
NARRATOR: ...you date someone just to pirate their music.
RACHEL: "Sooooo, what kind of music do you like?"
PANEL 4
Rachel sits on a bed with the same man, who looks hopeful. Her laptop sits between them. She's still wearing the "Rich people piss me off" shirt.
NARRATOR: ...you take someone back just to finish pirating their music.
MAN: "I'm sorry about what I said last night."
RACHEL: "I want to give it another try."
RACHEL: "Do you still have that Gogol Bordello album?"
I used to wear headphones and pretend I was listening to music, just so people would stop coming up and talking to me. O_o